This goes along with the age old idea that a child is like a tape recorder or a parrot, and that they go about their early years mimicking and repeating what they hear and observe. A person who has spent any amount of time with a child can see that this is overwhelmingly true. We can observe this copycat interaction with others in behavior, attitude, and values, all the way to the formation of morals and lifestyle choices they make as they get older.

Although every child develops differently as a whole, it is important to remember that one of the most critical elements to a child’s growth is a loving and supportive environment for happiness and self-esteem. With out some basic elements to build from, a child will be faced with an incredible amount of obstacles before they are able to become a successful adult.

This establishes our population with an obvious responsibility. We must create an environment that secures, nurtures and strengthen our youth in order to give them the best chance of success we can. The tragic reality however is that we are living in a growing world of one parent, and arguably even parentless homes. With this marking as the foundation for a number of struggling children, how can we hope for them to have a better future?

Currently in Navajo County there are over 111,000 people. This number breaks down to over 60% of that population consisting of family households. 31% of those 111,000 people are under the age of 18. According to recent statistics, only 30% of those households within Navajo County are two adult homes, and this number also reflects those who are grandparents watching after children.

There is a staggering amount of challenged homes that are at risk for having children who face an uphill battle for successful lives. Some of these risk factors are elements such as: Single parent homes, parents who dropped out of high school, teenage parents, and homes that are under the growing stress of unmet financial needs.

Pastor Tom Stonestreet of Life Church revealed that it is his belief that fathers pass on many critical elements of character to their children, and it is the mother that establishes a nurturing environment. With a child working to establish their own character and what it is that they are to do in life, they look to their parents to make that connection. If they see relationships from their parents that are strong and balanced, there will be a greater likelihood that they will imitate this with their own life and behavior.

However, if they are living in a hostile, challenged or limited environment, what can we expect our youth to imitate? Pastor Stonestreet explained that there was a time when his parents had undergone a However, if they are living in a hostile, challenged or limited environment, what can we expect our youth to imitate? Pastor Stonestreet explained that there was a time when his parents had undergone a challenging point in their relationship. He stated that it had been such a surprise to learn because they had never displayed an indication that they were anything but happy with each other. He acquired much from his parents in that they had such a respect and honoring for not only each other, but the integrity of their family and children.

From Dorothy Law Nolte we find a great guide of valuable insights as to the messages children receive.

“If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.”

In this continuing series we will explore the further obstacles standing before our children and their success, including parenting triumphs, mistakes, and the unfortunate dark side to some of local youth’s lives.

Message from the Author:

There will never be a time that we will cease to grow and learn. It is encouraging to think that no matter what I will experience in life, there will never be an end to my learning. This project has been a profound example of that truth.

I have spoken to many people, ranging from church leaders to healthcare providers. I have talked to those in law enforcement and those who have held the tiny hand of a traumatized child and received the privilege of giving them the one thing that they have hungered so long for…a hug.

In the journey thus far I have found a far deeper appreciation for the moments that I have with my own children and the experiences that the share with me. It is my hope that others will read this series and be granted a similar nudge to take a longer look back to their children. It doesn’t matter if we have just received the parents of the year award, or just awoke from a drunken slumber; there is always something that can be done to better our children’s life.

Even more importantly, we have to always remember that it is never too late. I would like to extend a special thanks to all those who have participated thus far, and invite any reader to share their stories of triumph and failure so that others might learn from your struggles as well.

Sincerely,

Jesse Horn

Mogollon Connection

Message from the Author:

Sincerely,

Jesse Horn

Mogollon Connection

Part one:

Child See, Child Do

“A child becomes what they see, what they are taught, what they think they are supposed to become for acceptance and approval. It's up to the parents, family, and their society to make either a killer or a lover; a destroyer of life, or a contributor to life; to make a victim or martyr, or to make a responsible and free individual; to make a creature, or a human being.”

- Dorothy Law Nolte

There are many moments when parents look to their children and wonder if they are doing the best for them. The simple fact that a person may have this question in mind is a good indication that you are heading in the right direction. However, there are many elements that affect a child’s life, and as this new series will cover; there are many obstacles that have been placed before our youth before they can become the great people they can be.

In a study conducted by Yale student Derek Lyons, there is evidence that suggests that humans are hard-wired to learn by imitation, even when it is clearly not the best method for us to do so. This study was built on a paper published in the July issue of the journal Animal Cognition by psychologists Victoria Horner and Andrew Whiten who showed young chimps how to retrieve food from a box. Mr. Lyons preformed a similar task on young children with results strongly suggesting that we develop from our perception of the world around us.